Noisome Beasts

Published: 2013
Author: Robert Chatham
Page: 190

Overview:

A stolen bag of cheese puffs. A battered Aerosmith cassette tape. A mysterious half-man, half-corpse. A quest to write the baddest rap of all time. Todd Jenkins, formerly a server at Cracker Barrel, will investigate these and other mysteries in his journey to seek out his real father: "Family Matters" star Reginald VelJohnson.

Todd's journey will lead him to nasty all-you-can-eat buffets, Fundamentalist conventions, and a horrific future featuring murderous robots. Join Todd and his best friend Edgar on their terrifying adventures across the American midwest, into darkest nightmares and sensual dreams. Wonder as they freestyle with hobo rap kings. Marvel as they purchase a model Frankenstein's Monster. Wince as they try hard not to touch the door handle of the truck stop bathroom.

But wait: this special deluxe edition of Noisome Beasts comes with not one, not two, but THREE bonus short stories. Aerosmith's Steven Tyler crashes a sweet-sixteenth birthday party. A middle-school band covers "Louie, Louie." SEXY BIKERS RIOT. Read them all, or keep one and trade the others, guaranteeing yourself a tidy profit!

Tolerated by fans of Daniel Manus Pinkwater, David Sedaris, and "A Confederacy of Dunces", Noisome Beasts will change your life and make you a stronger, better person. Wait. Hold up 

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Mastering Id

Published: 2010
Author: J.D. Bennett
Page: 73

Overview:

A chance meeting with an enticing woman forces Jacob into a battle with Id, the primal instincts surging within him. As his new nature is revealed, Jacob struggles to understand what he has now become and what he has lost, forever.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

How I was Murdered by a Fox Monster

Published: 2013
Author: M C Queen
Page: 224

Overview:

“Don't tell me that I'm going to die here?” They say your life flashes before you in that moment before death. I could see it all reflected back at me in the cold merciless blade. I was standing under the cherry blossoms at my elementary school entrance ceremony, eating cake at my sister's wedding, standing outside praying the monster wouldn't come tonight. 

I might not be dead yet but I can see what's coming, this is the story of how I was murdered by a fox monster. In a surprisingly funny way

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Honest, the Martian Ate Your Dog

Published: 2009
Author:  Fahim Farook

Overview:

A man on the run from his wife's wrath after selling her dog. A dozen crash-landed bounty hunter clones. An alien on the tracks of the man who scammed him. An intergalactic detective looking for a mysterious artefact. 

Above all, a world which is familiar but yet is slightly off - legalized bribery, cities run by gangsters, mysterious sects which believe in the power of jokes.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Hidden Highway

Published: 2009
Author: Tom Lichtenberg

Pages: 84

Overview:

Sharad LeMaster ran away from his own cult, and tried to hide from his followers by taking a desk job in a motel in the middle of nowhere, but when a certain lazy ghost from his past reappears, Sharad is lured into a haunted house and becomes the proud possession of the witch Eugenia, and gets caught between rival black-market magic-potion dealers in their fight over a girl.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Forever Fifteen

Published: 2006
Author: Kimberly Steele

Pages: 291

Overview:

Lucy Albert is not your ordinary maladjusted suburban adolescent. Born into the era of the Black Plague in medieval Italy, Lucy is chosen as a mate by the sinister vampire Sebastianus against her will. Struggling to survive in a modern world she cannot identify with, Lucy isn't looking for attention.

Welcome to Forever Fifteen, where a lonely girl seeks refuge in a world awash in everyday brutality, a world where only blood and death can sate her hunger. Journey into Lucy's past as you experience the terror of the Black Death and the harsh reality of womanhood in the Middle Ages. Enter Forever Fifteen, the fast-paced thrill ride that is redefining vampire horror.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

For Adam

Published: 2009
Author: Lowry Pei

Pages: 157

Overview:

This book is for all readers who write the book they hold in their hands, as they read. (Lowry Pei, January, 2000)

Excerpt - p.32

The next bead on the secret string comes when I was in my twenties. Your age.

I was sitting in a coach seat on the Southwest Limited, a train that used to run from Los Angeles to Chicago. It was 2:30 in the morning, and the train was standing in the station in a medium-sized town in the middle of Kansas. I looked down and saw this: the woman I had been talking with for several hours, earlier, stepped out onto the platform, took a few steps, and then began to glow through her clothing as if she was about to burst into flames.

The sight constricted my breath, and I watched in a state of terrible suspense, waiting for something worse that I was certain must be about to come. It crossed my mind that she was radioactive and would kill us all, that everyone on the platform and the train was already under death sentence from being in her presence.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Fried Green Zombies

Published: 2008
Author: John A. Allen

Pages: 264

Overview:

Chett and Harry are two recently unemployed construction workers on their way to a weekend of beer, Southern Comfort, and frog gigging at their musty-rusted 1970's RV parked at their favorite hunting camp when they stumble on Bob, the mysterious, busty, burqa-clad, non-English speaking beauty just standing in the middle of nowhere on the side of dusty Nine Mile Cutoff in rural Bovina, Mississippi.

Then all hell breaks loose. Their favorite pond is missing. They're being chased by truck driving zombies, dirty cops, UFOs and other ne'er-do-wells. Someone stole Chett's jacked up Scottsdale four-by-four. Zombies are traipsing around their trailer, and crazy Uncle Crank is trying to feed them zombie chicken for dinner.

Aided by a classic computer nerd, a crazy man wielding a frying pan, and a space babe who gets nekkid any time someone turns out the lights, follow Chett and Harry as they battle their way across the rural countryside and ultimately save the world.

Why is their pond missing, and why did the Dodge of Death spring from the muddy crater left in its center? Who is Bob and why is she so good with shotguns? Why are they being chased by two really skinny, pale, bald, goatee-clad wierdos? What is the dirty county sheriff hiding? And will Chett and Harry ever make it out alive?

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Dormant

Published: 2009
Author: Kevin Cathy

Pages: 227

Overview:

Eric Philpot is tired of being tired with his never-ending insomnia. One day, out of desperation, he resorts to a very dangerous yet successful treatment of his own. Now he's sleeping like a baby. And everything would be perfect except that now Eric can't tell the difference between when he's awake or when he's asleep.

Written with a unique writing style and an imaginative plotline, Dormant will leave you asking yourself if you're really even alive. Includes an alternate ending with an introduction from the author.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Echoes

Published: 2012
Author: Neil Wesson

Pages: 320

Overview:

Book description

A selection of ghost stories set in and around the county of East Yorkshire England. If you think that ghost stories are all set in Gothic castles then think again, many are from the here and now.

Excerpt - A Ghost of a Life

Raymond Vincent was a quiet, reserved and private man. It was not surprising after the life he had led. He kept his emotional barriers constantly in place and not letting anyone see his innermost feelings or indeed share his private thoughts was paramount to him.

At the vulnerable age of seventeen he had lost his elderly father to liver failure. He had been a man who had lived life to the extreme, work hard, play hard was his motto. He had drunk heavily most of his life and then at sixty he had paid the ultimate price. A kind and loving father always, Raymond had missed his guiding hand in life.

This event had changed Raymond’s life indescribably and from the moment of his father’s death, his life was no longer his own. His time was divided between his work as a computer aided design engineer and the welfare of his aging mother. Any spare time he had was dedicated to her and the running of the house.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Cruel World

Published: 2012
Author: John R. Morgan

Pages: 206

Overview:

Maddy has met the Devil on a plane.

Is it the End of the World, or is something still more sinister taking place?

Either way, the wolves are approaching, and Maddy has to run…

(Contains Mature themes)

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Brindle's Odyssey

Published: 2010
Author: Nicholas Antinozzi

Pages: 188

Overview:

Three members of the Grand Medicine Society complete the building of a Mide lodge in the middle of a small clearing deep inside the Fond Du Lac Indian Reservation in northern Minnesota. They believe this lodge will protect them from evil, and an evil spirit is definitely heading their way.

Brindle’s Odyssey is a paranormal romance like no other. When Huckleberry Brindle is hired to demolish the old Soliah Home, he has no idea what he is up against. The house refuses to go silently into the night and it claims Brindle’s crew in the process. As if things weren’t bad enough, Huck meets the long-dead owner of the house, Barnabus Soliah, who has cloven hoofs and claims to be Huck’s grandfather.

In this novel, Huck will be tried many times over and will be forced to endure things that cause him to pray for death.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Barry's World

Author: Dave Jenvey

Pages: 229

Overview:

Barry was always told that he needed some sense knocking into him and eventually much to everyone's relief someone did.

Travel through the physical and metaphysical world of Barry Broomfield, a man who had known only one thing: that he is a loser.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

333 Miles

Published:  2010

Author: Craig Birk
Pages: 260

Overview:

The most real book you will ever read about today’s upper middle class American male. Join Alex, Gary, Mike and the Rodge on a hilarious Vegas road trip and a search for meaning. Marriage, sex, monogamy, money, porn, diamond rings, and the Smurfs (of course), are just a few of the issues covered.

333 Miles gives readers a seat on a wildly entertaining road trip from San Diego to Las Vegas. Along for the journey are Alex, Gary, Mike and The Rodge - four 30ish, well educated, decently paid, and highly entertaining guys. Thirty may be the new twenty in upper-middle class America, but with age comes wisdom. All of it is needed to identify new insights into some of life s crucial topics. Marriage, sex, monogamy, money, porn, diamond engagement rings, and the Smurfs (of course), are just a few of the issues covered. Alex seems to be living the perfect bachelor life, but senses time is accelerating and wants to make sure he does not end up on a lonely road. Gary is married and secure, but doesn t know if his world is disapperaing into sixty-hour work weeks. Mike is increasingly bitter, probably because he is not getting any. Meanwhile, The Rodge just needs one more game to hit a big three team parlay. In a time and a place where life is fairly easy, and self-amusement is the top priority of the day, it is still possible to appreciate the beauty that surrounds us. And have a fantastically good time doing it.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

The Fox

Published:  2009

Author: Arlene Radasky
Pages: 418

Overview:

The Romans’ path of destruction jeopardizes a Caledonian clan unless they are able to strike a bargain with the Gods, which ultimately means a human sacrifice. Jahna is a member of this first century tribe. She has the power to merge minds, which she chooses to do with a twenty-first century woman, Aine MacRae and her contemporary, a young man Lovern, to whom she was hand-fasted in her time and of whom she shared a child, in order to save her people. In the name of the gods, Lovern was killed. Druids place his body in the sacred Black Lake, but through a visit from his ghost, Jahna sends their child away thus securing their bloodline. 

In the midst of madness, Jahna lives just long enough to reveal to Aine, her grief. Two thousand years later, in the year 2005, Aine is hoping to reestablish her career as an archaeologist and assists in the excavation in the Highlands of Scotland of a first century Caledonian chieftain’s tomb with fellow archaeologist, Marc Hunt. As the fates align, Jahna, guides Aine to one bronze bowl, then another, and when she is led by a ghost, Aine uncovers a two thousand year old man encased in a bog. As the circle goes unbroken, a heart’s chains are loosened and it is understood that Aine and Marc are able to rediscover their past love.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Denial of Service 2

Published:  2009

Author: Steve Jordan

Overview:

I wasn’t sure when my brother had taken to listening to lite rock, but I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to handle it for long. Okay, maybe when I say “lite rock,” I’m exaggerating… no, I take it back. The radio is queuing up Abba. It was making it hard to concentrate on my web searching. 

At about the time I was about to speak up and beg like a dog for him to find something else to listen to, the doorbell rang. A second later, Pete came out of his room, dressed in the baggies, tank top and sandals that were the standard dress uniform of San Diego. He started for the door… then veered towards the stereo. “Since when do you listen to Abba?” he said, as he punched the program control and an eighties rock station came on. Playing Van Halen. I was only marginally sure it was an improvement, at that.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Denial of Service 1

Published:  2009

Author: Steve Jordan

Overview:

It was developing to be a good morning. I’d stopped at the Starbucks on the way to the client site, and Christie was in that morning, which meant I could just saunter in, cool as hell, and say “Hit me,” and she’d know I meant my usual “grande double-shot skim milk espresso with room, in my personal cup.” I love a day that starts off where I don’t have to say all that, especially before I’ve actually had one. 

Then I got to the client site, where I didn’t have to kill a half-hour for the IT guys to show up and let me into the computer rooms. IT guys are pretty good about being late for work, since most of them are either working late fixing computer problems, out drinking themselves blind after they get out of a full day’s computer problems, or gaming ‘til 4 in the morning with other IT guys trying to blast the memory of yesterday’s computer problems away....

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

Arcadia Snips and the Steamwork Consortium

Published:  2009

Author: Robert Rodgers

Pages: 288

Overview:

In an era of bygone anachronisms and steam-powered ambulatory engines, a sharp-witted street-thief with a heart of semi-precious metal finds herself locked in a battle of wits against a secret plot to bring the city she loves to its knees. Arcadia will need to enlist the help of a reformed mad scientist, a stern suffragette, and a persnickety pigeon to unravel the mysterious past of the Steamwork Consortium - and stop the cabal of sinister mathematicians who would use that past to destroy all of Aberwick. 

Arcadia Snips and the Steamwork Consortium is both a cautionary tale against reckless mathematics and an accurate historical account all rolled up into one. In fact, the story is so accurate that you might consider it more of a history lecture than an illustrated novel.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

The Earth Goddess

Published:  1984

Author: Richard Herley

Pages: 

Overview:

3000 BC. The cult of the Earth Goddess is controlled by a sinister priesthood. The island country has been annexed and its lord murdered. His consort has fled, carrying his heir, Paoul. Ignorant of his parentage, Paoul is orphaned and sold into the Red Order. His teachers predict a great destiny for him. Only later, beyond the point of no return, do his doubts begin...

The Pagans Trilogy includes 3 books: The Stone Arrow, The Flint Lord, and The Earth Goddess.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF

The Flint Lord

Published:  1981

Author: Richard Herley

Pages: 

Overview:

This novel of intrigue, violence and betrayal in the land of our Stone Age forefathers is a magnificent successor to the author's The Stone Arrow. Here, spurring the Flint Lord's drive for conquest, is his passion for his beautiful, decadent sister, a drive and a passion which lead inexorably to catastrophic consequences.

The Pagans Trilogy includes 3 books: The Stone Arrow, The Flint Lord, and The Earth Goddess.

↓↓↓ Free download PDF